"Alex really scares the shit out of me". – He runs with scissors too, the bastard. "I really liked the poem about the bloke looking at internet porn, it was very real life" – Mind the keyboard. "The poem about the dog is the best one" – [checks poems] Er, whatever, thanks. "I think the one about the little insects is really cute. You should publish that." – I’m sorry you think it’s cute, I will try harder next time. Despite this it has been published, thanks for the vote of confidence. "It’s nice but it doesn’t really rhyme does it?" – Sorry. Some of them should only rhyme if you are very drunk or very stupid. "What’s that all supposed to mean then?" – Um. "Will you write a poem for my brother’s birthday card?" – Maybe. "Why is everything you write soooo depressing?" – Depressing, really? Wow, man what a bummer. Fixed: Try reading the words in the style of the Care Bears in league with Barney backed by Captain Pugwash – they make it sound much more upbeat. "…for example, the scansion is all wrong." – Are you using the same set of rules as me? [Note: for full set of rules see Mornington Crescent ISIHAC ] "Do you write books as well?" – Shhh. If I tell you people will only want to buy them. "I don’t like love poems, you should write about something topical like the war in Iraq" – Done. Enjoy "Lonely as a cloud" and its subtle critique of the Iraqui conflict. "Your shit" – (Their choice of spelling, not mine). "What is the Last Mistake all about? Is it about a bomb?" – Yes. Well done. "Why ‘Poems from the dark side’? Are you a Devil lover or something?" – I prefer "demon lover" (where the first word no longer represents a noun). "I particularly like your use of illterateive rhyming" – [giggles] "Alex is a genius" – Well spotted. 🙂 "Your biography is crap you should get a proper one done so we know a bit more about you because I think you are probably quite interesting to normal people." – Thanks. Although, if I rewrite it I am worried the abnormal people might throw me out of their club. "I think we should meet up, you intrigue me, I’ve never met anyone before who has a poetry website." – A new game for you; try replacing the word "poetry" in the above sentence with one of the following: bandsaw, live-action-cannibalism, devil-worshipping, sphygmomanometer , train-spotting. Please let me know when you’ve collected the complete set (good luck with number two). Share on Facebook
I’m even-handed, is that the same thing? At school, in my teen years, I used to write with a blue pen on odd numbered days and black one even numbered days but I don’t remember doing it with anything other than my write hand…. 😉