A kind of teenagery sick-bucket love poem with a stalkerish twist.
Written in conjunction with Lisa – feel free to blame her.

Ian performing “Your cromulent love embiggens me” at a recent Barnes and Noble event

Your cromulent love embiggens me

I don’t know if I told you,
I love you loads,
large loads,
the sort that needs a sign
and a police escort on narrow roads,
train loads,
heavy duty container loads,
filled with hopes and dreams,
like a football field
full of fifteen amateur league teams,
more than an ant colony loves honey,
more than a greedy banker loves his money,
more than wasps love Coca Cola,
(and that’s a lot, especially in Summer),
oceans of love,
tons of love,
A rewritten plot where Bambi’s mum comes back from the dead love.
Like I said, I don’t know if I told you.

3 comments on “Your cromulent love embiggens me

  • I listened to you at the Waterside Festival and felt the need to come and read what I heard (and more). I love this one. I laughed at Bambi’s mum coming back from the dead and (though I had to look it up to be sure that I was thinking of the right thing) the Simpsons reference was great.

  • Heh heh, thanks Ellie. I don’t write a lot of funny stuff but I think a few people like this one.

    The Waterside Festival was brilliant fun and after we did our bit I got to see one of my best mates on the main stage absolutely rocking the crowd (he is the lead singer of Retrobution) too.

    A good festival – even with the little bit of rain!

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