Sock monster

Give back my pants you evil swine,
give the pants back, the pants are mine.
I’ve got none left but the woolly pants
and they are the itchy ones that itch like ants.
I’ve got eight socks and they are all odd
except for the two with the holes, you sod,
and the pair with flowers that make me look gay
give my pants back, give them back today.

What do you do with my underwear,
when you snaffle my pants to your secret lair?
Do they sit on your head like a panty hat
or do you cuddle them in bed like a panty cat?
do they fly on a pole like a panty flag
GIVE MY PANTS BACK, YOU MAKE ME MAD!

Do you think it’s funny to take just one of each?
Do you stretch them out for towels on monster beach?
Or do you go to visit sock monster camp
and sleep in my sock and stay out of the damp?
I’ve been searching high and low,
I’m ten minutes late and I’ve got to go.
Give my socks back, don’t you care?
I can’t go out with one foot bare!

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